We have been quite busy the last few weeks, new puppy named Aramis, and getting settled into Jacob's new school.
Yesterday, his new school called. He's been struggling a bit, but it seemed like he was making progress with his behaviour.
Well. Not today. Today he was out of control, and made some comments and did somethings that are going to stay with me for a long time.
Miss Mandy called and told me that Jacob had gone after some kids in his class. Now, I know that going after someone usually has the same meaning in policing that it does on the playground. Someone pisses you off or hits you. You GO AFTER them, and fight them, arrest them or sucker punch them. Sometimes not necessarily in that order. Jacob was having issues with some of his classmates, and was using his fist and punching his other hand in a threatening manner. My first thought was where the hell did he learn that from?? Wat the heck man?? She continued and said that Jacob seemed to be really struggling with settling in, and that hes been more assaultive towards other students and staff, more so then hes ever been.
Now, I am starting to try and rack my brain like why is he so mad? What has anyone done to him lately? Was it something that we have done? What the heck is he doing this for? Why is he hitting other kids even when he knows that is not the answer and hell get into more trouble? And Miss Mandy kept going on and on, and all I could do was listen in astonishment.
Nothing could prepare me for what she said next. I was thinking ok, we can handle fighting with other kids. Thats pretty normal, and more normal for a kid who has a really hard time managing his anger issues, and having ADHD and Autism is difficult on the best of days. Then she said, Jacob then told the teacher that he was going to "hit him in the nuts".
JESUS. Are you serious? I said.
I'm afraid so, was her response. And then she said Jacob punched his male teacher in the groin area, hard. And then tried to kick him when he went down.
I was absolutely LIVID. No, more like completely embarassed.
I always feel like when he does these things, he is a direct reflection of me when he misbehaves or behaves. And it always feels emabarassing. I was so shocked. I said then what happened? Jacob was restrained and he was biting and kicking and punching and going on and on about things. They took him to the quiet room, and then he calmed down. The conversation lasted about an hour, and the decison was made that he would lose his iPad for possibly three days, but two for sure, and then that he would miss the Winterlude activities with his classroom on Thursday.
My heart just sank. Finally he gets some fun at school, and now he's going to miss it because of his behaviour again.
What am I doing wrong??? I kept asking myself before he came home from school. How can I help my son. The worst part is that I never see this at home, ever!
So, he got home. And I gave him the silent treatment, becuase I was still trying to control myself, and my anger, and then we needed to get ready and leave for some appointments we had.
Once we got into the car I blasted him for 20 mins. I couldn't contain myself anymore. Come to find out, two kids were "talking about him" in front of him, and he didn't like it so he hauled off and punched a kid in the face.
OH MY GOD. WHAT??? I said to him.
Then he said, the kid told the other kid I was crazy. I said what does that even matter?? Who cares what people say about you?? I always tell you to mind your business, and don't worry what people say about you. Why do you care?
Jacob says, "they're my friends". I said they ain't your friends if they say things like that about you. I told him that I was ashamed of his behaviour and that I was embarrassed as well. I started to cry, and he did as well. I told him, you definately proved that kid right though didn't you? Punching him and then the teacher in the groin area? Shame on you. I was totally mortified when I recieved that call.
I didn't sleep well. I woke up to a whining puppy, and several more inches of snow. I was still angry at my son, and I had a hard time even looking at him this morning. I have never been that angry and frustrated with him, and his actions. Ever.
No iPad and missing Winterlude. I hope I don't get another phone call today with worse news.
He told me this morning, that he doesn't tell the teachers anything because he thinks that they cant help him. Another lecture for him this morning. How can they help you if they don't know etc. He got his look on his face again, like a half smirk, and a half smile. And I knew that nothing I was saying was getting through to him.
Defeated Momma Bear
Yesterday, his new school called. He's been struggling a bit, but it seemed like he was making progress with his behaviour.
Well. Not today. Today he was out of control, and made some comments and did somethings that are going to stay with me for a long time.
Miss Mandy called and told me that Jacob had gone after some kids in his class. Now, I know that going after someone usually has the same meaning in policing that it does on the playground. Someone pisses you off or hits you. You GO AFTER them, and fight them, arrest them or sucker punch them. Sometimes not necessarily in that order. Jacob was having issues with some of his classmates, and was using his fist and punching his other hand in a threatening manner. My first thought was where the hell did he learn that from?? Wat the heck man?? She continued and said that Jacob seemed to be really struggling with settling in, and that hes been more assaultive towards other students and staff, more so then hes ever been.
Now, I am starting to try and rack my brain like why is he so mad? What has anyone done to him lately? Was it something that we have done? What the heck is he doing this for? Why is he hitting other kids even when he knows that is not the answer and hell get into more trouble? And Miss Mandy kept going on and on, and all I could do was listen in astonishment.
Nothing could prepare me for what she said next. I was thinking ok, we can handle fighting with other kids. Thats pretty normal, and more normal for a kid who has a really hard time managing his anger issues, and having ADHD and Autism is difficult on the best of days. Then she said, Jacob then told the teacher that he was going to "hit him in the nuts".
JESUS. Are you serious? I said.
I'm afraid so, was her response. And then she said Jacob punched his male teacher in the groin area, hard. And then tried to kick him when he went down.
I was absolutely LIVID. No, more like completely embarassed.
I always feel like when he does these things, he is a direct reflection of me when he misbehaves or behaves. And it always feels emabarassing. I was so shocked. I said then what happened? Jacob was restrained and he was biting and kicking and punching and going on and on about things. They took him to the quiet room, and then he calmed down. The conversation lasted about an hour, and the decison was made that he would lose his iPad for possibly three days, but two for sure, and then that he would miss the Winterlude activities with his classroom on Thursday.
My heart just sank. Finally he gets some fun at school, and now he's going to miss it because of his behaviour again.
What am I doing wrong??? I kept asking myself before he came home from school. How can I help my son. The worst part is that I never see this at home, ever!
So, he got home. And I gave him the silent treatment, becuase I was still trying to control myself, and my anger, and then we needed to get ready and leave for some appointments we had.
Once we got into the car I blasted him for 20 mins. I couldn't contain myself anymore. Come to find out, two kids were "talking about him" in front of him, and he didn't like it so he hauled off and punched a kid in the face.
OH MY GOD. WHAT??? I said to him.
Then he said, the kid told the other kid I was crazy. I said what does that even matter?? Who cares what people say about you?? I always tell you to mind your business, and don't worry what people say about you. Why do you care?
Jacob says, "they're my friends". I said they ain't your friends if they say things like that about you. I told him that I was ashamed of his behaviour and that I was embarrassed as well. I started to cry, and he did as well. I told him, you definately proved that kid right though didn't you? Punching him and then the teacher in the groin area? Shame on you. I was totally mortified when I recieved that call.
I didn't sleep well. I woke up to a whining puppy, and several more inches of snow. I was still angry at my son, and I had a hard time even looking at him this morning. I have never been that angry and frustrated with him, and his actions. Ever.
No iPad and missing Winterlude. I hope I don't get another phone call today with worse news.
He told me this morning, that he doesn't tell the teachers anything because he thinks that they cant help him. Another lecture for him this morning. How can they help you if they don't know etc. He got his look on his face again, like a half smirk, and a half smile. And I knew that nothing I was saying was getting through to him.
Defeated Momma Bear
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