So yesterday was the day. Orientation to his new school, or as Jake calls it "Oweenwntation".
He had asked my daughter to go with him to his new school, the day before, and I had told her that he would ask and if she would come to support him. She smiled and said of course Momma, he needs us. What a good kid.
Jake woke up before me as he usually does, and was dressed and ready to fly at 0730 hours. OMG. I got up, and started his breakfest, and he came down, and had already taken his medication, and then asked quietly if I could help him with his hair. I looked at my son, and he was wearing his favorite orange long sleeve long john shirt, and JEANS. I took another look and said "are you wearing jeans?" He looked up at me and said "yes, I am first impressions are important arent they?"
WOW......what a kid.
Then we went upstairs and wet his hair, and combed it. My son has theses curls that are to die for, as he has some genetic pool make up that he has some really curl hair. I put some stuff in it, and he let me blow dry it. He didn't want to put a hat on becuase it would mess up his hair.
We all got into the car and he told me Momma, you better get a coffee. He makes me laugh.
We got to the school, and saw a bunch of kids playing outside, and kept walking to the third set of doors, I ended up ringing the wrong button since it was such a weird school. Finally we found where we needed to be, and then got buzzed inside. It was quiet, and we walked to the main office, and filled out some paperwork.
We met with Usha, who had been at the presentation about a month ago, and was very happy to see us. I finally felt some relief that I hadn't felt in such a long time. We toured the school a bit, and then met up in the office to chat about Jake. I shared all of my concerns, and how he has been lately since we have all been together. Doing so much better, was the majority of my comments, and her and the Dr smiled. I shared of our holidays, and for them to get to see my younger brother, their Uncle Gru, who they talk about non-stop at home. I always hear Leighton saying "Uncle Gru is so handsome with his long hair, can he come and be with us Momma please?" Jake will say, "I wanna play Legos with him, please Momma?" Its hard to be so far from your best friend, isn't it Kid?
We ended our meeting, and Jake and the team went to go and see his classroom and I filled out three papers of questions, does his self harm? YES, does he get angry often? YES, does he get along with others? Sometimes. It was like filing out another Psyche test for policing! ARGH!!!
They came back, and Jake was all smiles. I was so RELIEVED. It felt like a good fit. I know the transition will be difficult but I also know that he will work on things with the teachers. We found out he will have a male teacher, and he is a drummer from a band! WICKED!!! Jake was super excited, and kept telling me that I had to meet him. I said maybe the first day I would come. We left, and Jake was happy. He hummed a lot while we walked to the car, and he said I think I'll like it here Momma. My heart was so happy, and my anxiety level was wayyyy down. Jake asked to go to McDonalds for lunch and I said sure.
We stopped at the one near our house becuase I knew that it had a play place. I ate in the peace and quiet of other families, and watched as the snow fell gently on the asphalt of Strandherd Road. There were workers in the lobby, cleaning up and chatting. One of the workers kept going into the play place and yelling at the kids to be quiet and stop screaming. The first two times I just watched him do it, and was completely puzzled as to what my kids and two other ones were doing wrong to get scolded like that. He walked away and stated to his co-worker "maybe some parents should watch their children a little better...." I was completely blown away. I sat there thinking of all the nasty things I could possibly say to him, but I gave myself a little time, and he went back to the door and opened it and told MY SON to stop screaming. I couldn't contain mysekf any longer. I arched over to the front of the restaurant, and asked for the Manager. I ended up getting this young girl, and I decided then and there I wasn't going to rip her DAMN head off, I would say what I needed to say nicely. For anyone who knows me, sometimes tact and niceness is not my forte, espeically when it comes to 1)my children 2) your children 3) my pets 4) your pets 5) elders 6) other officers 7) officers who I really care about 8) idiot drivers 9) people who hate Police. So, I said nicely, that I noticed that the worker kept addressing my children and other children in the Play Place. Was there a reason the kids were not allowed to run and play? She replied with blah blah blah safety this and that, and they are responsible etc. I looked at her sideways and said, we are their parents.....we know what they are doing is safe and reasonable. She started to speak again, and in true Nicole Miller fashion, I cut her off. "My son is Autistic, and he squeals and screams when he gets really excited. That is a sound I welcome when he has had an amazing day, and wore jeans today. Maybe your workers shouldn't work in this industry around children if they hate that they are having fun." And I promptly walked away. I felt like JESUS, what was so bad about the kids screaming and playing??? I collected my kids, and walked out of the restaurant, with the young Manager still gawking at me. Jake said, that guy kept yelling at us to be quiet, why, weren't we allowed to be loud? I said apparently not. Jake said, I'm not going back there ever again Momma, they are rude.
Later on that night, I decided to vent a little on social media, which I may do sometimes and it gets into heated arguments, but this one apparently made one particular person angry, and made it about her son who works at McDonalds, and awful people are to complain. I went back and forth with this person, who clearly missed my point. My son has difficulities, we have struggled for so long to try and get him to a point where I can take him out without people staring at us, with shame and despair in their eyes, and she got angry with me for being unreasonable. I just sighed. Between the posts and the nasty text message from this person, I decided that this was one fight that I am willing to keep fighting for. Jake. Always for him. Society wants him to be normal, but he never will be. His normal is screaming and yelling loudly sometimes when hes content and happy. His normal is him humming every morning so loudly that I can hear him from my bedroom with all the noise makers I have. his normal is twirling his hair and bending his fingers back when he gets nervous. His normal is clearly not YOUR kids normal. But you know what? Congratulations to you, because your kid is NORMAL. Mine, is AUTISTIC.
Momma Bear
He had asked my daughter to go with him to his new school, the day before, and I had told her that he would ask and if she would come to support him. She smiled and said of course Momma, he needs us. What a good kid.
Jake woke up before me as he usually does, and was dressed and ready to fly at 0730 hours. OMG. I got up, and started his breakfest, and he came down, and had already taken his medication, and then asked quietly if I could help him with his hair. I looked at my son, and he was wearing his favorite orange long sleeve long john shirt, and JEANS. I took another look and said "are you wearing jeans?" He looked up at me and said "yes, I am first impressions are important arent they?"
WOW......what a kid.
Then we went upstairs and wet his hair, and combed it. My son has theses curls that are to die for, as he has some genetic pool make up that he has some really curl hair. I put some stuff in it, and he let me blow dry it. He didn't want to put a hat on becuase it would mess up his hair.
We all got into the car and he told me Momma, you better get a coffee. He makes me laugh.
We got to the school, and saw a bunch of kids playing outside, and kept walking to the third set of doors, I ended up ringing the wrong button since it was such a weird school. Finally we found where we needed to be, and then got buzzed inside. It was quiet, and we walked to the main office, and filled out some paperwork.
We met with Usha, who had been at the presentation about a month ago, and was very happy to see us. I finally felt some relief that I hadn't felt in such a long time. We toured the school a bit, and then met up in the office to chat about Jake. I shared all of my concerns, and how he has been lately since we have all been together. Doing so much better, was the majority of my comments, and her and the Dr smiled. I shared of our holidays, and for them to get to see my younger brother, their Uncle Gru, who they talk about non-stop at home. I always hear Leighton saying "Uncle Gru is so handsome with his long hair, can he come and be with us Momma please?" Jake will say, "I wanna play Legos with him, please Momma?" Its hard to be so far from your best friend, isn't it Kid?
We ended our meeting, and Jake and the team went to go and see his classroom and I filled out three papers of questions, does his self harm? YES, does he get angry often? YES, does he get along with others? Sometimes. It was like filing out another Psyche test for policing! ARGH!!!
They came back, and Jake was all smiles. I was so RELIEVED. It felt like a good fit. I know the transition will be difficult but I also know that he will work on things with the teachers. We found out he will have a male teacher, and he is a drummer from a band! WICKED!!! Jake was super excited, and kept telling me that I had to meet him. I said maybe the first day I would come. We left, and Jake was happy. He hummed a lot while we walked to the car, and he said I think I'll like it here Momma. My heart was so happy, and my anxiety level was wayyyy down. Jake asked to go to McDonalds for lunch and I said sure.
We stopped at the one near our house becuase I knew that it had a play place. I ate in the peace and quiet of other families, and watched as the snow fell gently on the asphalt of Strandherd Road. There were workers in the lobby, cleaning up and chatting. One of the workers kept going into the play place and yelling at the kids to be quiet and stop screaming. The first two times I just watched him do it, and was completely puzzled as to what my kids and two other ones were doing wrong to get scolded like that. He walked away and stated to his co-worker "maybe some parents should watch their children a little better...." I was completely blown away. I sat there thinking of all the nasty things I could possibly say to him, but I gave myself a little time, and he went back to the door and opened it and told MY SON to stop screaming. I couldn't contain mysekf any longer. I arched over to the front of the restaurant, and asked for the Manager. I ended up getting this young girl, and I decided then and there I wasn't going to rip her DAMN head off, I would say what I needed to say nicely. For anyone who knows me, sometimes tact and niceness is not my forte, espeically when it comes to 1)my children 2) your children 3) my pets 4) your pets 5) elders 6) other officers 7) officers who I really care about 8) idiot drivers 9) people who hate Police. So, I said nicely, that I noticed that the worker kept addressing my children and other children in the Play Place. Was there a reason the kids were not allowed to run and play? She replied with blah blah blah safety this and that, and they are responsible etc. I looked at her sideways and said, we are their parents.....we know what they are doing is safe and reasonable. She started to speak again, and in true Nicole Miller fashion, I cut her off. "My son is Autistic, and he squeals and screams when he gets really excited. That is a sound I welcome when he has had an amazing day, and wore jeans today. Maybe your workers shouldn't work in this industry around children if they hate that they are having fun." And I promptly walked away. I felt like JESUS, what was so bad about the kids screaming and playing??? I collected my kids, and walked out of the restaurant, with the young Manager still gawking at me. Jake said, that guy kept yelling at us to be quiet, why, weren't we allowed to be loud? I said apparently not. Jake said, I'm not going back there ever again Momma, they are rude.
Later on that night, I decided to vent a little on social media, which I may do sometimes and it gets into heated arguments, but this one apparently made one particular person angry, and made it about her son who works at McDonalds, and awful people are to complain. I went back and forth with this person, who clearly missed my point. My son has difficulities, we have struggled for so long to try and get him to a point where I can take him out without people staring at us, with shame and despair in their eyes, and she got angry with me for being unreasonable. I just sighed. Between the posts and the nasty text message from this person, I decided that this was one fight that I am willing to keep fighting for. Jake. Always for him. Society wants him to be normal, but he never will be. His normal is screaming and yelling loudly sometimes when hes content and happy. His normal is him humming every morning so loudly that I can hear him from my bedroom with all the noise makers I have. his normal is twirling his hair and bending his fingers back when he gets nervous. His normal is clearly not YOUR kids normal. But you know what? Congratulations to you, because your kid is NORMAL. Mine, is AUTISTIC.
Momma Bear
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