Tomorrow is the day the kids go back to school.
We've been off for two weeks, eating candy, playing soccer, playing outside, in the snow, getting rosy cheeks, and enjoying the leisure of Xmas vacation.
And then we go back to routine. No sleeping in until around 9 am or 10 am. We have to get up at 8 am sharp, and get ready for school. I know these next two weeks are going to be very difficult for my son. Difficult because we go back to the school routine, but we are starting in the new school Tuesday of this week.
I've discovered that I am a good mom. My son does very well when he is gone to someone elses home, and he is respectful. I've been told by many people, close to us and often strangers that "your son is so polite, he says Ma'am! and he shakes hands and makes eye contact." It is hard work to do that. Every time I speak to him I have to tell him to "look at me son" just to make sure that he is making eye contact. Not to be normal, no. Just to acknowledge what I am saying to him, especially if he is going to help his sister with a chore. Heck, I have to do it to her as well, since she forgets so easily like Dory. But with him, its more so that he remmebers everything I saw because I know he will be the one to tell my daughter how it works, what it sounds like and why Momma said so. He's brilliant. Borderline genius. And remembers everything to a "T". For all those times that I was so hard on myself for not listening or being patient or listening to him or anyone for that matter, I have finally seen that my diligence is working.
My kids went over to my friends house, who live on a farm, outside of Ottawa for the weekend. My kids have been at me for months to get out and visit them, and for lack of a better excuse, I was busy with the kids, and recouperating from my mental fatigue. So, we went this weekend. What can I say about my friends, and how amazing they are. Well. My friend Bobbi, who is my sister, is the most kindest and gentliest woman I know. She has two special needs kids that are difficult at times, but she is very patient with them and loves them all the same. These two amazing kids, are respectful, and polite and hug me every time, and kiss me and tell me they love me and I am their favorite Auntie. If there was ever any doubt that I was unloved, I spend one hour at the Funny Farm with my sister Bobbi, and my brother in blue Keith, and those two amazing kids, and my heart is completely full. I have not felt for a long time that I have belonged anywhere, only because I felt so torn apart from my own family, and very lonely always trying to do the right thing for my children. Which always means my feelings and emotions take a back seat. And then I go to my families house. There is always food, and love and of course adult beverages(Bobbi likes red wine!), and I can sit and hang out with my sister, and brother, and let mey kids go and do chores for the farm. It's so funny I know, but they love it out there! Chores?? BLECK is usually what Jake says, but at Auntie Bobbi's house, he loves it. I think mostly because like at any Auntie and Uncle's house, you can have more fun then home, and rules are a little more bent, but they are still in place. But, to see the joy on my kids faces because they feel like they belong, and are loved for being who they are is completely priceless. And I couldn't have asked for a better support system then in them.
I admire Bobbi because she "gets it". She can deflect my son so quickly, and stop the on coming meltdown so fast that it was like HOW DID YOU DO THAT?? How quickly I forget that she's got two kids with special needs that are older then mine so she has some more years of experience under her belt/cape. I watched my son just explore, and enjoy being a kid, and it was awesome. I hate saying to be "more normal". But I watched him be "his" normal. And it made me feel so good for him.
When we came home, we sat down and I asked him how much fun he had at Auntie Bobbi's place, and he said, I had such a great time, and I lost a tooth and I got like $10 for it!!! He smiled, and ran off to play soccer in the basement with my daughter, and I knew he was good.
I've been a lot more present in his moments, not mine. And I can say that that makes a huge difference for him and his day to day routines. I have figured out that we go minute by minute, not day by day like I used to think we did. Nope, we are minute by minute. And he can tell how many cuz he counts everything I do. He told me the other day, Momma it takes you 15 minutes to clean the bathrooms, if we help you you would be done sooner, and promptly gets up and starts to clean the toys up. His mind works in such a mysterious way.
And then we watched Rain Man tonight, and I watched as Charlie lost his mind when his brother Raymond would repeat things and go on and on about the maple syrup on the table. And I thought to myself, we all do that, and we don't get it right away. But it made me apprecaite why I have been chosen as my son's mother. Who knows him better then me? No one, and I am glad that I do get to share him with other people for our time on thes earth. Because we still do prepare them to leave us at some point, and everyday that goes by, I think, another day, and hes still making such great progress and enriching my life.
Momma Bear
We've been off for two weeks, eating candy, playing soccer, playing outside, in the snow, getting rosy cheeks, and enjoying the leisure of Xmas vacation.
And then we go back to routine. No sleeping in until around 9 am or 10 am. We have to get up at 8 am sharp, and get ready for school. I know these next two weeks are going to be very difficult for my son. Difficult because we go back to the school routine, but we are starting in the new school Tuesday of this week.
I've discovered that I am a good mom. My son does very well when he is gone to someone elses home, and he is respectful. I've been told by many people, close to us and often strangers that "your son is so polite, he says Ma'am! and he shakes hands and makes eye contact." It is hard work to do that. Every time I speak to him I have to tell him to "look at me son" just to make sure that he is making eye contact. Not to be normal, no. Just to acknowledge what I am saying to him, especially if he is going to help his sister with a chore. Heck, I have to do it to her as well, since she forgets so easily like Dory. But with him, its more so that he remmebers everything I saw because I know he will be the one to tell my daughter how it works, what it sounds like and why Momma said so. He's brilliant. Borderline genius. And remembers everything to a "T". For all those times that I was so hard on myself for not listening or being patient or listening to him or anyone for that matter, I have finally seen that my diligence is working.
My kids went over to my friends house, who live on a farm, outside of Ottawa for the weekend. My kids have been at me for months to get out and visit them, and for lack of a better excuse, I was busy with the kids, and recouperating from my mental fatigue. So, we went this weekend. What can I say about my friends, and how amazing they are. Well. My friend Bobbi, who is my sister, is the most kindest and gentliest woman I know. She has two special needs kids that are difficult at times, but she is very patient with them and loves them all the same. These two amazing kids, are respectful, and polite and hug me every time, and kiss me and tell me they love me and I am their favorite Auntie. If there was ever any doubt that I was unloved, I spend one hour at the Funny Farm with my sister Bobbi, and my brother in blue Keith, and those two amazing kids, and my heart is completely full. I have not felt for a long time that I have belonged anywhere, only because I felt so torn apart from my own family, and very lonely always trying to do the right thing for my children. Which always means my feelings and emotions take a back seat. And then I go to my families house. There is always food, and love and of course adult beverages(Bobbi likes red wine!), and I can sit and hang out with my sister, and brother, and let mey kids go and do chores for the farm. It's so funny I know, but they love it out there! Chores?? BLECK is usually what Jake says, but at Auntie Bobbi's house, he loves it. I think mostly because like at any Auntie and Uncle's house, you can have more fun then home, and rules are a little more bent, but they are still in place. But, to see the joy on my kids faces because they feel like they belong, and are loved for being who they are is completely priceless. And I couldn't have asked for a better support system then in them.
I admire Bobbi because she "gets it". She can deflect my son so quickly, and stop the on coming meltdown so fast that it was like HOW DID YOU DO THAT?? How quickly I forget that she's got two kids with special needs that are older then mine so she has some more years of experience under her belt/cape. I watched my son just explore, and enjoy being a kid, and it was awesome. I hate saying to be "more normal". But I watched him be "his" normal. And it made me feel so good for him.
When we came home, we sat down and I asked him how much fun he had at Auntie Bobbi's place, and he said, I had such a great time, and I lost a tooth and I got like $10 for it!!! He smiled, and ran off to play soccer in the basement with my daughter, and I knew he was good.
I've been a lot more present in his moments, not mine. And I can say that that makes a huge difference for him and his day to day routines. I have figured out that we go minute by minute, not day by day like I used to think we did. Nope, we are minute by minute. And he can tell how many cuz he counts everything I do. He told me the other day, Momma it takes you 15 minutes to clean the bathrooms, if we help you you would be done sooner, and promptly gets up and starts to clean the toys up. His mind works in such a mysterious way.
And then we watched Rain Man tonight, and I watched as Charlie lost his mind when his brother Raymond would repeat things and go on and on about the maple syrup on the table. And I thought to myself, we all do that, and we don't get it right away. But it made me apprecaite why I have been chosen as my son's mother. Who knows him better then me? No one, and I am glad that I do get to share him with other people for our time on thes earth. Because we still do prepare them to leave us at some point, and everyday that goes by, I think, another day, and hes still making such great progress and enriching my life.
Momma Bear
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